Yet another post on time management? Yes, it is. Kind of.
Even before the 2020 lockdown due to Covid-19 pandemic, I was observing how different people manage their time. This includes books, podcasts, YouTube videos, and so on. A lot of them were helpful for me, some unrealistic or irrelevant, but most importantly, all of them brought something, an idea of a person I want to be, a person I never want to be, and habits and skills I want to develop along the way.
First of all, I am a mom with a full-time job, a husband and a whole lot of ambitions. If you're anything like me, your head might work like a control tower of an airport. And everything is connected.
Also, I always wanted to be that person who is up at 5 a.m., has done work out, meal preped, read a book and worked before everybody is up, but waking up earlier than my baby is a chalenge for me, to be honest, although I haven't given up on this idea completely.
On my "agenda" I have obviously my work, taking care of our household, taking care of my baby, spend time with my husband, but also take time for my self. That seems almost impossible, combined with 7-hour sleep, commute time, etc.
Well, thanks to many hours of research, books, right subscriptions and being honest about my priorities, I might have figured out a formula that works for me.
Below are some of my "realisations" and how I got there:
1. "Know your why and your how will follow"
I am no longer sure who said it first, but the idea is clear. For example, you decide that you want to run a marathon, but deep inside you hate running and you like your nutrition as it is. I think if you set yourself goals and you expect to attain them without knowing why, you are not being fair to yourself. And also I am sure that everybody who decides to do something that makes them change their diet, or other important aspect of their life and they don't do it, they don't really want it, and this is OK. I think if you really want something and you know why, the how will follow. And if it doesn't happen, it might happen later or come in a different form, and that's ok. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself.
2. Don't get too overwhelmed with the to-do list
We live in a society that praises productivity and efficiency. But we are not machines. And it is a proven fact that a person can be productive only for 5 hours straight, after that our brains just zone out and get distracted, and it has nothing to do with our will power. So I think it's important to keep it simple. Get your priorities, ask for help when needed and don't forget to get your needed rest.
One of the sources that helped me the most is a recent one actually, it is a a book by Kate Northrup, Do Less.
Kate and her husband Mike Watts have a successful business, a beautiful family and seem to have this figured out. They have a lot of very relatable advice and are very enjoyable to listen to on their podcast. I highly recommend it.
Three things I would take from Kate are:
- When facing a task it's important to ask yourself these three questions: 1) does it really have to be done? 2) does it have to be done now? 3) does it have to be done by me? - I think answering honestly these questions helps with all the emergency conundrums.
- Ask for help, but Kate says it's important to ask for help timely and not when already in crisis. Therefore, help needs to be asked for early, often and kindly.
- "Do less of the things that don't matter, so you can do more of the things that get results" - that paired with “this way of being makes self-care part of our rhythm as opposed to a reward". I know for my self that if I do everything on my to-do list (because I'm an achiever by nature) and forget to take care of my self, my cup will get empty, and as a result I will not be as productive and helpful as I can be at work and for my family.
3. Don't push it
Sometimes, you have those "bad-hair days" when everything seems to go against you and your plans. It's like the whole world is ou to get you. I say on those days, just lay back and let be. It might be universe's way to slow you down.
4. One thing at a time
If you did figure out your how, but still have a hard time to get that workout done, a 7-step Korean skincare routine, read more, etc, try to build one habit on top of another, which you already do on a daily basis. I'll explain. If you want to do a face massage, do it right before you brush your teeth, and if you want to get more workout done, take those stairs at work instead of an elevator, or get out of your bus a few stops earlier. You are going to tell me that this does not count for a workout, well let me tell you, those 20 extra minutes of walking are always better than a marathon you are probably never going to run. Try to make it a normal part of your life. Do just one thing, and after that becomes a new normal , get to the next one.
5. Make a review
Probably a much deeper thought on this one, but it still resonates in this context. Jane Fonda in her book Prime Time said that it is not the experience that helps us to get better in life, but the review of our experience. So, for me it is applicable to our habits, it's important to review them and not feel badly if whatever no longer resonates, goes out.
The bottom line is, be true to yourself, and make small steps towards your honest goals. Review your habits and cut yourself some slack every once in a while.
P.S.: I turned 30 this weekend and my biggest realisation is that I don't have to have it all figured out by now and be exactly who I need to be. I am just now starting to enjoy this process of becoming. A wife, a mother, a friend, a lawyer, and most importantly a woman I want to be. And it feels great to just enjoy this process full of imperfections, retakes and everything that comes along the way.
(I do not own rights on this image, source: Pinterest)
Comments