This is a follow up on the #covid19chronicles.
I think, even thought here in France we are officially “out”, this period took its tall on all of us. At the beginning it was ok, scary of course, but manageable. I had a lot of energy, projects, I felt like I could take the world on. But little by little pressure, stress, routine, fatigue and just this state of “closedness” and four walls started to chip out on me. Don’t get me wrong, home-cooked meals, working in loungewear and Zoom apéros are great, but while it’s all great there is also this layer of stress and sense that this is actually not ok. This situation is not normal, and oh yes, the world we all know is gone. So how to deal with this when this layer comes to the surface and you feel disappointment, anger, despair and powerlessness.
Here are my steps and tips on how to cope:
1. Live in the question
We all want to know what’s going to happen next, how this situation will progress, from how to shop to future labour laws and state of economy. I think it’s good to get informed as long as it keeps you calm and only feeds your awareness. But more often it gives us insomnia and stress-related disorders. So I thought to myself that it’s actually better to learn to live in the uncertainty.
Richard Feynman once said:
I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it is much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers that might be wrong. If we will only allow that, as we progress, we remain unsure, we will leave opportunities for alternatives. We will not become enthusiastic for the fact, the knowledge, the absolute truth of the day, but remain always uncertain … In order to make progress, one must leave the door to the unknown ajar.
And I think this is what we should do, get enthusiastic about alternatives, and not point out on everything that’s wrong now and will stay wrong tomorrow.
2. “The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately” - Seneca
The point here is not only to live in the question, but live now. What it means is to prioritise every time. I think very few people would regret by the end of their lives about allowing themselves of being happy, spending more time with their loved ones, argue less, hug more. Generally, enjoy this life not “when I’m done...”, not one day in the future, right now. We are getting ready to live more often than we live. Enjoy good food now, fresh air now. Don’t stress about the things that don’t get done, or if your to-do list still has unchecked boxes by the end of the day. Focus on what’s really important and the rest will follow.
3. Learn to be ok in a not ok situation
We always think we have all the time in the world, but the truth is we don’t know that at all. So we can’t rely on being happy one day. Also, and that’s undebatable, unhappy young people don’t become happy old people (and growing is a privilege). I am convinced that happiness is something you can become, because it is a state inside that should be independent from what’s going on outside. We think that we can’t be happy if something sad happened to us. Well, I think we can, which does not mean that we can’t feel other emotions at the same time. Think about it: “I am a happy person, and also I am angry right now”, “I am a happy, and also I am very sad right now”, you got the point. The "I am happy person" must be permanent and the rest must be left for "and also". It’s not about one emotion changing what you are at the very primal level of your being, it’s about who runs the show. And I think it is our moral imperative to learn to be happy. We have to let the happy one be a permanent state, and allow our selves honestly feel what comes along the way, and learn to let it go.
And we need to figure it out quickly, start where you are, reasses your life and learn to be happy in these circumstances, because you don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow. Maybe you will not make that six figure and maybe you will not write a book or whatever you wish to accomplish, but I think it is really sad if because of that you live an unhappy life. If you learn to be happy, achieving all those things will be so much more fun. I want to say that I insist we learn to be happy now, because as Robin Sharma says: “Tomorrow is a promise, not a fact”.
Be Xen
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